Jian Yang – Special Occasions

Jian Yang – Special Occasions / Smoke Times Montage (Silicon Valley) 😀 ↓↓↓↓

Starring:
Jian Yang (Jimmy O. Yang) Jin Yan, Erlich Bachman (T.J. Miller), Monica (Amanda Crew), Laurie Bream (Suzanne Cryer) …

• Erlich: We don’t enjoy all the freedoms that you have in China. All right? Where people smoke all the time.
• Jian Yang: I don’t smoke. Expt for special occasions.
• Erlich: So you do smoke? Wait, have you been smoking in my house?
• Jian Yang: No. There’s no special occasion ever happen in your house!

• Laurie Bream: Worse than pedophiles?
• Erlich Bachman: Smokers! Because, let’s face it, no one’s ever died of secondhand heroin.
• Laurie: True. True
• Erlich: With our app, users can locate and thus avoid these self-indulgent, self-destructive, negligent monsters.
• Laurie: Negligent? Yeah
• Erlich: We call it “Smokation.” It’s a clever hybrid of “smoker” and “location.”
• Laurie: It’s interesting… ….
• Monica: Well done. Well done. ….
• Erlich: Oh, today is a great day
• Laurie: What is he doing?
• Jian Yang: Special occasion
• Erlich: Oh, shit
• Laurie: You brought cigarettes in here?
• Jian Yang: No, I take from her purse

• Jian Yang: You kick me out, but you let him stay. He’s not even an incubee.
• Erlich Bachman: Have some compassion. I mean, the guy rented his place to some fuckhead tenant who won’t leave. Jared is fucked, Jian-Yang.
• Jian Yang: He can go to the police.
• Erlich: It’s useless. California law gives landlords literally no recourse.
• Jian Yang: So, he can go to court.
• Erlich: Of course, he’s going to go to court, you four-eyed turd. But in America, the legal system doesn’t work very well, so it will take at least a year for the proceedings to even begin. Do you understand that?
• Jian Yang: Yes. I stay here for one year… I pay no rent… You have no recourse.
• Erlich: That’s not always the case. I mean, sometimes court systems can move faster, especially if you have money for…
• Jian Yang: I’m going to Smoke in my room.
• Erlich: Oh. Mother fuck
• Jian Yang: Special Occasion

• Jian Yang: Hi!.. Is this a Mr. Wall?
• Conan: A Mr. Wall? No. No.
• Jian Yang: Were is a Mrs. Wall.
• Conan: No. There is no Mrs. Wall here either. I think you have the wrong number.
• Jian Yang: So there’s no Walls in your house?
• Conan: No.
• Jian Yang: Your roof is going to fall down. And you’re going to die, alone.

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JIANG YANG (Silicon Valley) Montage

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